I was doing great...nice friends, happy singleton life, and good academically as well....so what the hell happened?
I met him. Greenbelt festival, second day. WOW.
Joe. Blonde, gorgeous, taller than me (which trust me, is way too hard to find, I'm a giant...), and soo easy to talk to. Which we did. A lot.
The entire last day of the festival, we spent together. Chatting, flirting, hugging every once in a while. It was perfect....but it would never be right. It was the last day of the festival after all. And that's not the whole problem either...it was her...Ella.
So El's my best friend, but I hate her guts. (Is that possible? I dunno...but it works for me, and it has for 14 years). She can be kind, funny, and always up for the same stuff that I like. But....Yer there had to be a but. There's a lot of buts with Ella around. She is possibly the biggest bitch I've ever met...and here's why...
1. She always has to insult whatever I'm wearing....like by saying that it would look "so much better on her..."
2. When we're with other people, It's like a big game of- "lets make my best friend feel like utter crap", and it works. I put up with too much of her... but you get used to it.
3. She has to be better than me at everything. I've been diving for years, and then she shows up with her gymnastics skills, and beats me. No contest....and she'll brag and brag if she gets better than me....but if I do? Then I'm a bitch for boasting.... >:(
4. She's violent, and knows it. She has her family shuddering under her fist, and if I do anything that she doesn't like...thats it. Slap. Punch. Kick...whatever. And I can fight back...I can fight back well. But I don't want to fight her. She's still my best friend at the end of the day...
5. If I ever do work up the courage to fight back, she'll either hit back way to hard than necessary, or start crying. Either she's faking it...or she just has a WAY lower pain receptor than I do...
But enough...I can go on forever with these, and then I feel like the bad guy. But despite all this...she's still my best friend...and if I haven't cracked yet...I'm not going to.
So back to Joe...and enough with the rambling :)
I think...only a thought...but I'm pretty sure....that Ella liked Joe to. I never admitted that I liked him either, apart from to Violet, the only one I can really trust. If I told Ella that I like him, the world would know instantly. Seriously. She's that bad...
But the thing was, that Joe didn't like her that much, and was always talking to me, looking at me...etc. Great for me...I know :) But Ella's used to stealing guys in an instant, she never really put me up as suitable competition. Guess she was wrong...
So whenever I mentioned him, or went to talk to him, she got annoyed instead. Like I was stealing myself away from her instead of me just talking to a nice guy....so I think that if anything did happen, then she'd complain, get angry, and not talk to me for a month.
Shit.
But I want it to happen.... He lives about six hours away...and Greenbelt's long over...but I still want it to happen. Too much...
We text each other loads, every day, and I wasted a good £20 credit in under a week, just texting him...Everything he sends me makes me smile, because I like him even more now...
...but that just makes things WORSE...
So, school started two days ago, and already I'm falling in love with a guy I wont see for a year, and I'm covering that whole thing up, so El wont annoy me...
My life is a mess. Period.
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